Thursday, December 24, 2009
I see a lot of myself in my second son. Yes, he is his own person, but he mirrors me in a lot of ways. One of these is in his emotions and reactions. He is a bit fire and ice. He can be the most loving, gregarious, and warm child, but then if something doesn't go the way he thought it should....watch out, he falls apart. He gets mad, cries, and collapses to the floor. I can tell that even in his rage he regrets it, wants out, and wishes he wasn't totally losing it. How do I know this, I remember these feeling vividly. (Both of us have extremely good memories. We both never forget things. That can be good and bad.)
We also quickly feel remorse, want to change, and genuinely seek forgiveness. This works with forgiveness shown toward others. I see this with his relationship with his brother. His brother is slower to forgive, slower to show true remorse.
Even though my husband and I are often exhausted by his moods and emotions I informed my husband that this is really a good thing, "See, he will recognize his need for a Savior at a young age." I remember at age five coming to this realization.
Another perk of having this certain personality type is that we, my son and I, are extremely relational and love the idea that Jesus loves us and wants to be in relationship with us. What did this mean for me at a young age? It meant that at age five when I asked Jesus to forgive me and live in me, I was more that ready to start chatting his ear off. I remember my mom tucked me in bed, turned out the light, and left me alone...alone to tell Jesus all my thoughts, dreams, and desires. And I did. I remember having a very long conversations with him, and this conversation continued. (Continues even now.)
My favorite chore growing up was mowing the lawn. We had a large yard, and it took a full afternoon. The major plus was that I could talk to God, and no one but him could hear me. My mother would see me and thought I was talking to myself, but I wasn't. And I took time to listen too, although this is a practice I've grown more accustom, silence and listening.
I give you this background so that you'll understand why I was excited by my latest God-sighting.
My middle son walked up to me with a beaming smile, "Jesus likes me. He laughs at me. He plays hide and seek, and Candy Land with me."
"Yes, I know he does."
I know he does. The process of him becoming aware of God in his life has begun and this makes my heart sing.
Emmanuel: God With Us. Merry Christmas.