Top Ten Reasons I've Been NOT Writing

10.  It is the winter, and I find the winter uninspiring.

9.  I'm no longer in those early years of parenting...when my only outlet and adult conversation was with myself and my blog comments.

8.  Also, those young years are really hilarious.  I'm finding elementary years to not be quite as chaotic, and in need of a laugh for stress relief.

7.  I've gone back to work, part-time.  My creative energies are finding venues with my preschoolers and the teacher in me is soaring again...it feels so good.

6.  I'm wanting privacy. I think all this social-networking has made my world feel very small, and I seem to be wanting more space just for myself without others crowding in.

5.  I'm finding myself being pushed into new writing venues.  And I want the time to pursue those.

4.  There are now five computer users in the house and still only one computer. 

3.  My best time to write is in the afternoon, but if I choose to sit and write it means my youngest is going to stare at the TV for hours with no interaction while his mommy gets lots of think-time.  Guilt!

2.  I'm waiting...I've written a rough draft, and I'm waiting to hear back from some 2nd and 3rd readers.  I find that in my writing process I like to take STOP time...stop time is when I put my work away, and I don't look at it for a time.  Shorter pieces mean shorter stop time; longer works can take months of ignoring.

1.  I'm asking a lot of questions, in my head.  I'm doing a lot of processing.  I'm doing a lot of listening.  I'm collecting. 

Basically I have writer's block and these are my excuses.  If I wanted to write I would make the time, create the space, embrace the habit.  Writing for me is an essential spiritual discipline.  So there is a part of me that is distracted and restless and found wanting.

Update: Anticipate

Over the New Year I decided to embrace a word for the year instead of making goals or resolutions.  I felt like God handed me, lovingly, the word anticipate.  I felt like I was moving away from old commitments and into new ones, just wasn't sure what the new ones were yet.  I love being aware of the movements of God in my life and living in trust as my life takes new turns.  I learned long ago not to force change, but to anticipate, hope, plan, and trust change.

So, guess what!?  I am embracing a new teaching challenge: preschool.  Never would I have predicted this career choice.  I started out in secondary education, loved my stint at the college level, but now I'm actually very excited and eager to begin this new venue for my passion of teaching.

I'm finding myself taking on some new volunteer work also.  I'm trying to get some planning and movement in the way of long-range plans for my sons' school playground.

But don't worry, I'm passing off many of my old commitments: church women's retreat, mom's Circus Teabreak's group, standing back a bit more from Sunday school leadership (although still taking my turn at teaching), found a new mom to take on the school newsletter, dropping Site Council for next year...probably not coaching my son's soccer team (Daddy says he wants too.).  So, don't worry, I actually think I'm striking a more healthy balance and focusing on fewer things and doing those few things well:  teacher, mother, wife, daughter, and friend. 

But, this transition period has been busy, and that is why there has been less writing lately on my blog.  Just thought my faithful readers would like to know.

Writing Realization

Lately, I've been feeling down in regards to my writing...feeling like I have nothing to say, nothing to write about, no inspiration etc. My word for this year has been anticipation. I've been doing a lot of evaluating of my life and how I'm spending my time: what is life giving and what is not. I fee like I'm cleaning out my inbox, and it feels good. I've been slowly deleting items that I have to do in my life, getting rid of commitments that are cluttering my time. I'm doing a pretty good job of it too.

But, I've been wondering about my writing. Should I not do my blog? Should I phase out of my Graphic writing? How does writing fit my life now that my kids are bigger and my life is busier. Nap time used to be my sacred time, now when do I create and think? I still want to write. I still want to publish. This is my creative outlet, but how does it work under these new life changes of motherhood.

I know it is little, but I've been doing the school newsletter for the last two years and I finally realized that this is sucking away from my personal writing time. On Mondays I spend the whole day writing the newsletter, gathering articles, and working on the layout. I do enjoy it. I think I've done good in the school through it. But am I willing to keep doing it and sacrifice my own personal writing? Last night I realized: no, nope. I think this will be another thing I delete from my inbox. I have done it well and it is now time to hand it off.

I'm practicing the art of saying no and cleaning my life of business...it feels very anticipatory!

Oregon Women's Report: The Writer's Network

As a young girl/boy we all have dreams. Some dream of travels, fame, fortune...some dreams are easier to attain than others. The line between dreams and goals sometimes gets blurred. I guess a dream that becomes a reality needs to become a goal first. And a person needs to know how to get to that goal in small steps.

My goal was to become a writer. I remember pulling out the heavy typewriter and pounding away on my first novel: Sixteen Children. The plot thickened as I rested my elbows on a bright, 70's rag rug. In this fiction, a mother has 16 boys. Luckily, I am not a prophet and only ended up with three. Strange that my main character was the mother of only boys though...

Anyway, I digress, the point is that to be a writer (to be anything) it helps to know people and to make connections. This is how I've seen bits of my writing be achieved. And so I join another network that will help me along in my credibility as a writer: Oregon Women's Report. Plus, it is super nice to hear that someone loves your writing style especially when they do not know you and have never spoken or seen you...the writing speaks for itself. Of course, I had a little help, I cannot lie. My writing friend Jen (You can find her blog on my blog list.) sent them my name. So see, writing success is about networking and connections, and that is why I feel like being featured on this site is a good thing. If you'd like to read my column that was featured on March 1st, follow this link.

The Author Bug

I'm not sure when I decided that I wanted to be a writer. I do remember lugging out the heavy typewriter in the third grade and attempting to start and complete my first novel right then and there on the circular, 70's, rag rug in our living room.

I think it had to do with audience. I've always loved the power of captivating an audience either with humor or with good thought. Story is a celebrated power in my family, starting with my Grandpa....another reason I wanted to write?

My son, who is in the 1st grade, found one of my writings from when I was in the 1st grade. He found this very amusing.

Here is what he read: (I am typing it just as I wrote it, so there will be mistakes for you to discover.)

My family, written by Rebekah.

My job at home is to get the eggs. (There was a drawing of a large red chicken shed and the attic was full of eggs.)
Something my family likes to do is work and play. My mom work inside and washe the dishe. My sister plays my dad and me work too.
My house is white and green. My house is nice and warm. My family has a dog and cats too.

My son had some criticism, "Mom, you should have drawn your pictures on the same pages as the words so I didn't have to flip over to see them." Good point B, thanks for that editing advise 30 plus years later.

Things I noticed: I liked my family and my house. My sister, in all the drawings had really long, red hair. My dad worked. He still does. This is an accurate observation. While some men have hobbies that take them away from their homes, my dad's hobby has been working around the house and property. My favorite part is that I thought my house was warm. Must have been warm with love because our house was freezing back then. We heated with only wood and if my dad was not home to get he fire started my mom never even tried and so we just froze until he came home.

Random Thoughts

I've been having them, thoughts. I just haven't been finding the time to write or process about them. I was sharing this with my friend Jen who also blogs and we both admitted that we are doing good if we both get one blog a week off these days. We are both transitioning out of the preschool years and have kids in both elementary and preschool. We talked about how no-nap-time has changed our writing routine...like now I really don't have one.

If I write it means that my kids are zoning to the TV. I'm not one of those writers who gets up early to work my craft, nor stays up late. Then there is the little problem of sharing one working computer. This is not a hardship. I'm very aware of the fact that owning a computer is a luxury. But everyone wants to use it: me, my husband, the boys....I almost need to have my own secret laptop that I keep hidden and then can pull out and type away on when all family members are good and occupied by some creative endeavor.

Here are my thoughts recently:

1. I really don't love that my 1st grader gets technology a few times a week. My son is very computer savvy and doesn't need more screen time at school. However, I realize other kids do not have computers. Still, I wish he was playing at recess or working on some spacial, hands-on activity instead.

2. Two years in a row, I feel like my oldest has gotten an excellent teacher. He's learning a ton. And guess what we are discovering about him: he's a hard worker and very self-driven. My husband was very relieved by this recent announcement of mine. Sometimes I find myself encouraging B to relax and take a break. Last night he wanted to practice his flashcards, all on his own. And he also never wants to take a night off from reading to me. I do love it, but the other night he was sick and coughing and I thought, "Maybe this night we could just skip it." (My good friend Jessica pointed out that I am a very driven person...true.)

3. I am getting tired of reading about the stock market and economy. One day it is up, one day down. Sometimes in the same newspaper, there will be two columns: one declaring financial doom and next to it another one singing of the excellence of Caterpillar stock. I wish everyone would relax and trust the process. I feel like it is working itself out. (I'm not sure I totally feel this way, but when I read articles like this I do.)

4. My pastor asked me to contribute to a church blog. I was very honored that he thinks I have something worthy to share. Now I'm stressing because I can't think of anything great to say. This helped me realize that I haven't journaled to/with God in a long time. Which reminded me to not "neglect my first love." I've been writing my prayers to God since I was a preteen. Some people feel close to God through activity, through nature, through worship, through prayer....God and I have always written together. I need to get back to that.

So, there are just a few of my random thoughts. Others include: newspapers, the China bubble, Christmas shopping, good friends, fall weather.....

Updates and Contests

Just thought I'd point out that I have a new blog family photo and that I went for the collage approach since that is what most readers wanted. Some of you responded on here and others let me know via FB.

Also, there is another contest going on at the Just Moms Facebook page. Basically, get a new friend to "like" our book and introduce us to them on our wall, and you and your friend will be entered into a drawing to win a free copy. The deadline is Oct. 31st.

Because Who Runs Around Covallis Taking Pictures of Their Pants!

You all must really read my friend Dala's blog. She ran all around Corvallis taking pictures of her jeans in various locations. That alone is a good reason to follow her blog. But there are a few more: she's an amazing graphic design artist, she has two little boys that are only a few months apart, she moved here from South Africa last winter, and she has a killer accent which for some reason I can hear in her writing style.

Where Were You? Where Are You Now? (9/11)

My latest issue of Time came. It was a tribute, a reflection to 9/11. I have to admit I had trouble reading it. I wanted to. I did. I looked at each of the faces in each of the large, black and white photos. I remembered many of those faces, those stories from 9/11. But the larger essays, I just couldn't. I think I've tried to pretend that this attack that took place across the country from me 10-years-ago was something that didn't really affect me. But it really did. Yes, no one I knew and loved died in the either of the Towers or in that field in Pennsylvania nor where they near the Pentagon, but it was my country and reading through Time made me realize how much I really didn't like seeing and knowing this happened to my people. Or to any people. Although I seem to be able to stomach atrocities that happen in other countries easier.

I'm pretty open with my boys about tragedy. We read the morning newspaper together and talk about the pictures and the articles, but I found myself hiding this issue of Time from them. I just didn't want them to feel scared or vulnerable.

My cousin Paula visited us this summer. I hadn't seen her since my wedding in 1999. Since then a lot has happened, and one of those happenings was her experience of being a survivor of 9/11. She was in the basement when the first plane hit. She heard the sound. She saw the second plane hit. She was there. All those clips I saw on the news, she was experiencing first hand. Her apartment was so close to the Towers that she and her husband could not go home. Paula recounted her story for me this summer as we sat in my kids' playroom, ironic location. We sat, her on the couch, me on the chair. I listened. I knew this was her experience, but I had never heard it from her mouth. And actually she is the first person that I've known, met, or talked to in person who was there...the first person in 10 years.

Maybe that is why I'm more sensitive? It opened it all back up again? Or is it just knowing that it has been 10 years. It should not have been that long, right? And at the same time, since it has been that long, why is it a topic I avoid?

I feel like I would be offended if a movie was ever made of the attack. I don't think I would go see it. Is that how Holocaust survivors feel about WWII movies? Is that how the veterans of Pearl Harbor felt when Hollywood made that catastrophe into a romance flick?

Memorials don't create this aversion in me. When my family went to D.C. (1989)and stood silently before the Vietnam Memorial, I know my father was not offended. I saw with my eyes how it moved him.

When I went to Dachau it seemed reflective, respectful, and honoring. Not an easy experience, but one that I'm grateful I have had.

Someday I will take my sons to Ground Zero. I will proudly tell of the heroes and of the brotherhood that was exhibited through this national tragedy.

But for now, I'm just not ready.

9/11 is on a Sunday this year, and I would be very offended if I were to go to church this Sunday and nothing was said, no mention was given, no prayers spoken. I do expect something.

So, where were you? I was 23-years-old, shy of 24 by one week. I was starting my third year of teaching at a middle school. I was driving to work, listening to Z100 when the very obnoxious DJ said something horrifying. I thought it was a crude joke, but the more he talked the more I realized this was for real. I sat in my car in the school parking lot, stunned. I looked around me and all the teachers were just sitting, listening to their radios. We made eye contact and got out of our vehicles, lunch bags in hand. We checked to make sure we were all hearing the same thing.

We walked numbly to our classrooms and each of us turned on the televisions that our school had installed for Ch. 1 News. There it was. The visual of what was happening, playing out before us in real time. I remember the horror as the news reporter shouted that the second tower had been hit. We had students on buses coming to school, unaware. They would be in our rooms in less than a 1/2 hour. What were we supposed to do? Send them home? Watch the news all day? Teach? Our principal called an emergency staff meeting and made the decision that we would address the topic, that during 1st period students could watch the news if teachers chose, but that we would press on and teach as if this was any normal day.

I can't believe that is what we did. I still remember a student named Alex very frustrated that I would not let his class watch the news, but instead made the students review their literary elements. I think this was a coping mechanism. Sometimes I think it was wrong that we acted like everything was normal, but then I try and imagine what a day with 7th graders would have been like watching the news for seven periods straight. That seems like that would have been wrong too.

I remember thinking I couldn't wait to get home and get to my husband, process it all.

After so many days of this, it was all too much, and we all chose to stop watching the replay events. We pushed the normal button and trudged on. Of course, 9/11 never ceased to be the underlining theme of that year (and decade to follow), all the events in the world could be traced back to that moment. Even though we pushed the normal button, normal had changed. Our worldview had been altered.

Where am I now? Then I was 23, no kids, living in community with other young adults, going and doing whatever I wanted, when I wanted, and working full-time.

Now, I no longer live in the metro-area. I have returned to the farm I grew up on. I have three young boys. I am the CEO of my home. I've written a book. I have deep, meaningful relationships, I love my church community of others who are seeking God's truth in their lives, and I have a list of goals and dreams for my life that I see the foundations of being built. Also, I see a world that is hugely connected to one another, a world where if one thing happens in one country it always affects another and another and another. Decision and action should always be considered in length.

So, where were you and where are you now?

Giving, Sharing, Abundance

I strive to teach my children to give to others out of abundance and out of need. If we model giving when we have more than enough, then enough will never be enough.

I guess I should maybe be more vocal about this with my kids. I think maybe they only see me giving out of abundance, but maybe not. Currently, I have an abundance of garden food, and I am enjoying sharing it with others.

This morning I read an incredible story about the Fresno school chief giving up 800,000 in pay. The line that struck me the most was, "How much do we need to keep accumulating? There's no reason for me to keep stockpiling money."

I posed the question on the Just Moms' FB page, "How are you modeling giving and sharing to your kids?"

Win A Copy of Just Moms

We are giving you the chance to be entered into a drawing for a free copy of Just Moms. Simply follow this link to our Facebook page and post a picture of your kids enjoying the simple pleasures of summer.

Become a fan of our FB page and you'll be updated on book happenings, pictures, discussion questions, and more.

Just Moms Review: Finding Her Tribe

Megan Tietz of SortaCrunchy just posted an amazing review of our book, Just Moms. It is a must read and a must comment on her site!

Just Moms Update: Capturing the Moment

Wondering how things are going in the book world? Jessica does a great job of capturing what it is like to attend a reading. We are hoping for another reading this summer in Salem and later one in Portland.http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

If you haven't "liked" us yet on FB, you really should. This is the best way to keep updated on the happenings surrounding Just Moms.

Things To Say

Time to Vote! What would you like to read about:

1. Time Magazine, my last great read.
2. Book Review: Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks
3. Book Review: Forgotten Garden
4. Great Kid Books for New Readers
5. Vomit in the Car
6. Riding in Cars with Boys, Mine That Is
7. Summer Hopes

From Another Perspective

Sometimes other people just write excellent posts, so why not highlight them. I was going to give you all an update on Just Moms, but instead thought I'd link to a post from one of the contributing authors. (Jessica Kantola)

Also, we are going to be at Frogs and Pollywogs in Albany, Oregon on the 25th of June at 5 PM.

Field Trip Cool: A Poem?

Field Trips

Excitement, as you load the bus
Who do you get to sit with?
Did you get with the fun mom or dad?
The cool kids have:

Sour Patch Kids
Pringles
Walkmans

It is raining, Oregon...end of the year trip...expected, but
Disappointing regardless.

However, the bus ride was fabulous.
Totally noisy and stinky.
Everyone was so fun, so fun to be with your class out of the classroom walls...

Its all good.

When On the Radio...Learn to Laugh

I had my radio blog interview yesterday. I don't think you can tell from my voice how excited and nervous I was. I had my husband practice asking me questions the night before, and it was terrible. My responses really were lacking something, like knowing I was actually on the air? Anyway, once noon hit yesterday I wasn't much good. I was told to call five minuets before 3, and so from noon until three I tried to make myself useful. I worked on the school newsletter, folded laundry, empty the dishwasher, and actually did rest a bit on the couch and mindlessly flip through the newspaper.

I decided to go over to my mom's house to do the interview. Can you imagine trying to conduct a phone interview with three children lurking somewhere near? You must know how that might have sounded in the background. Not sure how your children deal with you on the phone, but it always seems like my boys can sense when I'm on a very important phone call.

I went over for some peace and solitude and to pull myself together. I dialed the number. I was committed.

It went fine. Actually, it went better than fine. After the interview was over, I listened to it again and was quite pleased. For my first live interview ever I think it was smashing! (Don't tell me otherwise, or I'll be crushed.) I do hope I was an encouragement to moms and that I did a good job describing the joy that Just Moms has been for both me and all the contributing writers.

The only real evidence that I was nervous was in my shirt. It was quite stinky from all that sweaty angst, and so I rewarded myself with a change of wardrobe at 4 o'clock.

Also, a little bit of advise for anyone getting a radio interview in the near future: work on your radio laugh. Mine is not so good in this venue. I breathe too much on the first note of my chuckle; it doesn't translate well. I noticed that Maxine and her co-hots had lovely radio laughs that lilted and carried well over the airwaves. Must work on that.

(This picture is of Melanie and me at the Brownsville Reading)

Calling All Listeners

OK readers, faithful and true. I could use some listeners now too. I'm going to have a radio interview on Monday the 9th at 3. Please follow this link for listening information.

Success!

I would say our first book signing and reading extravaganza was a success! Did we really have 11 of our contributing writer's there? I think we did! Four of our writer's read: Nancy Thomas, Lisa Graham McMinn, Marta Sears, and Paula Hampton. We are hosting our second event this Friday at the Brownsville, Oregon library. It starts at 11, and the bonus is that we have a fabulous teacher coming in to do a Mother's Day craft and story time with the kids: free childcare! Bonus: you walk away with a Mother's Day present.

Feel welcome to come if you are not a mother. There were many men at our Chapter's reading last night.

So, how can you support us? Become a fan on FB, write a review on Amazon, or attend an event.

You can follow this link to find us on FB and see pictures of our Chapter's Reading event. It is always fun to put faces with names.

On our FB page you can be part of the discussion, responding to posted questions, and you can also leave encouraging comments for our writers. We've also posted links to various newspapers who have covered our book release.

Sharing the Limelight!

I love seeing our contributing writers get some news and writer love. Here is a great article featuring Emily Chadwick who wrote "Digging for Answers" in Just Moms.