No, it couldn't be. It was just one of my really blonde ones, right? My husband laughed, mockery and vengeance mixed together. I concentrated on the glare beaming off his chrome dome.
That afternoon I had a hair appointment. We chatted about all the normal things: kids, school the holidays...but the whole time I was thinking, "Can she see it? Was it real? Did he really find one?"
"So my husband thinks he found a white hair. Do you see any?"
Oh, yes, she saw one...then several more. But I was not to worry. I was lucky. It would blend in, somewhat, with my blonde hues. Besides, I was going straight from blonde to white, no graying for me. I smiled, "Yeah, that's better than gray. White is pretty." Secretly I was devastated. My plan was to not see gray or white hair until at least 40. I had always remained young looking, if only in my mind. Surely my hair would cooperate.
When I first started teaching middle school I would intentionally introduce myself to the bus drivers on our field trips so that they wouldn't be wondering where the teacher was.
I was a late bloomer growing up, the shortest in my sixth-grade class. I liked my role of being the youngest. I liked looking youthful. I liked being carded: the best compliment.
My dreams and hopes of retaining my youth were dashed as I sat in that beautician's chair. It was happening. My body was growing older, not younger. And it is not just my hair. I also have this little item dubbed the "muffin top." I keep thinking and hoping it'll go away, but after three babies I think it might become a permanent feature.
Luckily I still feel beautiful...actually more beautiful than I've ever felt before. This says much about my husband.
Still, I find myself moving further and further away from the "ideal" age of beauty and it stings a bit. Yet I would never want to go back. I'm learning to love my new, wider hips; my skin that isn't quite youthful as it once was; and maybe soon I'll even begin to anticipate the new white hairs mixed in with my blonde locks of youth.
I don't really want to fight it. I want to be fully what I am, and for now it is a mom who is not only adored by my husband, but my three little boys. I wouldn't change that for any age.