Monday, July 11, 2011
From the start we told the boys. Grammy has cancer. This is what is going to happen. She is going to feel weak. She is fighting the cancer with chemo. She will look different when we visit. She won't have any hair.
C made her special paper clips to hold during cancer treatments. These little trinkets really help the chemo work. Cancer has become a common word in our house. The other day the boys were in imaginative play and I heard the one instruct the other, "And now you have cancer."
We had a choice as parents, tell or don't. Of course, they were going to wonder why Grammy didn't have any hair, but we could have put this off. We live 9 hours away from Grammy and Poppy, and so we could have chosen to not make this fear and worry part of our boys' lives, at least not very much.
But then there is this little item of prayer that we believe in, and that we model for our kids. How could I steal them of that? What if God healed? Then they would not be there for the miracle. What about all the little prayers along the way with little God-sightings? I wanted them to experience God in this very real crises.
My oldest isn't a fan of praying. He'd rather have me do it, but when it comes to praying for Grammy: he wants to speak to God about this. He's even taught me a little doctrine along the way. When I told him that we don't always know what God's plan is he responded, "But God always has a plan." Yes, yes he does.
We spent this last week with Grammy, and it was good. Grammy commented on how glad she was that the boys were comfortable around her and didn't think much of the fact that she didn't have her hair anymore. She was glad that we had made cancer a normal thing. I'm glad we have too.
We've already seen God answer so many of our prayers along the way in this journey of fighting cancer. The boys have been with us for all of those moments. God is a very real person to them, through this. And most of all, we are accepting that "bad things do happen to good people," and that if you look and listen you can see how much God does love us through the not-so-convenient in life. This is a paramount thing to learn as a young child.