I am doing life. I am continuing my routine, showing up at scheduled events, being a mom, attending grade school feast parties, taking my kids to their basketball games, and yet there is a constant prayer and concern running through my thoughts at all times. And I'm not even a "direct" casualty of this tragic event. A dear childhood and current friend was in a accident six days ago and is in ICU, critical condition...so many unknowns. She's in a coma, this is the first time I've known someone intimately who has ever been there, here, but not accessible. It is a strange feeling.
The other day I found a note with her handwriting on it. Handwriting is strangely intimate and I loved it. I find myself wanting to text and call her. Wednesday was a strange day for me because we'd made plans to spend the morning together. It didn't happen.
I hate to sound like this is all about me, because it really is not. It is about her. It is about her children. It is about her family. It is about her parents. And it is about God. I keep thinking back on my post I wrote about prayer, about submitting and surrendering. I find myself doing that a lot with my friend. But there is a new element to my prayers: hope and power.
I find my mind thinking of Jesus and how if he was with us right now, he'd march into that hospital and heal her on the spot. I just know he would. But, he's not here. Then I think, but he left us with someone, we are not alone...or at least that is what I was taught and this is what I know as I look back over my 34 years of life. The Holy Spirit. When I find myself grieving and upset, saddened...that isn't just me, that is Jesus in me. I feel like I'm being prompted to take a risk and pray for the miraculous, to tap into that image of God within me...for my friend.
That is just a small piece of the greater picture that is currently going on in this situation. This is just one small layer that is surrounding this dear friend who is also created in the image of God.
2 comments:
I know how you feel Rebekah. And Sharm and I aren't even good friends. My heart is so heavy and I think part of it is how much its bringing up stuff with Jeremy's aunt and cousin. And like you, I don't want to make it about me. But yet its still there. This sadness for her and grieving for her family but knowing that so much of my empathy is from too many personal experiences with traumatic brain injuries. Each time I read Carol's updates, they so closely mimic exactly what our updates were. Waiting, watching, no idea. Long road. And I do grieve for the long road because whatever the outcome...its going to be long and painful. And it just makes it so real how fragile and fleeting life really is.
We are praying for her. I've had the pleasure to met her several times at gatherings and events. She is a lovely woman and I pray that she is healed and home quickly.
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