From the start we told the boys. Grammy has cancer. This is what is going to happen. She is going to feel weak. She is fighting the cancer with chemo. She will look different when we visit. She won't have any hair.
C made her special paper clips to hold during cancer treatments. These little trinkets really help the chemo work. Cancer has become a common word in our house. The other day the boys were in imaginative play and I heard the one instruct the other, "And now you have cancer."
We had a choice as parents, tell or don't. Of course, they were going to wonder why Grammy didn't have any hair, but we could have put this off. We live 9 hours away from Grammy and Poppy, and so we could have chosen to not make this fear and worry part of our boys' lives, at least not very much.
But then there is this little item of prayer that we believe in, and that we model for our kids. How could I steal them of that? What if God healed? Then they would not be there for the miracle. What about all the little prayers along the way with little God-sightings? I wanted them to experience God in this very real crises.
My oldest isn't a fan of praying. He'd rather have me do it, but when it comes to praying for Grammy: he wants to speak to God about this. He's even taught me a little doctrine along the way. When I told him that we don't always know what God's plan is he responded, "But God always has a plan." Yes, yes he does.
We spent this last week with Grammy, and it was good. Grammy commented on how glad she was that the boys were comfortable around her and didn't think much of the fact that she didn't have her hair anymore. She was glad that we had made cancer a normal thing. I'm glad we have too.
We've already seen God answer so many of our prayers along the way in this journey of fighting cancer. The boys have been with us for all of those moments. God is a very real person to them, through this. And most of all, we are accepting that "bad things do happen to good people," and that if you look and listen you can see how much God does love us through the not-so-convenient in life. This is a paramount thing to learn as a young child.
8 comments:
Love this article.
-Laura
Thanks for sharing this. We had several family deaths and difficulties when I was growing up. I am thankful that my parents didn't hide those things from me. My faith grew stronger from wrestling with such things as I grew up.
This is a beautifully written piece. Thank you for sharing. I love your approach with your boys about your mother in law. The picture is priceless.
Heidi
So sad, its really being painful for whats going on but still you have to stay brave against that. Praying god is the best thing in this situation.
This is so beautiful, so true, and so very important. I'm so sorry your mother-in-law is going through this, but what a blessing for her to be able to rest and find joy in the presence of your boys, who are at peace, in prayer, and full of faith.
Well i believe this is all natural factors but should not be hided from young ones.
I believe this is a crazy idea to realities from your young ones. They should know the realities.
Hannah showed faith during the darkest trials and obedience during the greatest joy. Circumstances will change, but God remains forever. It is incredibly important to lean on God during the hard times in life. When nothing is going the right way, and you are a Christian, it seems or should seem only natural to lean on God. To call on Him and pray for His strength to carry you.
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